Spilling Truth

Sometimes the TRUTH can be hard to take. 

Most times the TRUTH can set us free.

Seek truth and you will find a path. 

 ~Frank Slaughter

Three amazing women have helped me realize that I need to be sharing MY TRUTH.

My sweet Leanne

My inspiring Soraya

My voice of wisdom Stephanie

In the past few weeks these women have poured their hearts out and shared their TRUTH. I don't share what's real here everyday. I mean the real icky stuff. Obviously most of us Bloggers don't. Not every post anyway. And that's a good thing....I mean who wants to read every single gory detail of what's wrong in our lives, right?

But their does come a time when the TRUTH needs to told. We get so very tired of hiding behind the exclamation points and smily faces.

Here is an excerpt from my journal entry this morning....

"2012 has just been HARD. Probably the hardest of my life. My kids' choices and trying to keep them in line. Oh goodness our finances...all our financial burdens. Not having enough. I know I have been going through major depression. I have all the signs: tired, listless, want to sleep, losing interest in things I love. It's because I feel like I'm in this deep, dark hole and I'm being swallowed. There seems to be no way out. I am filling my time with ways to escape: food and tv. TODAY needs to be the First day of the rest of my life!!! It's time for an intervention. I HAVE to Take Charge of MY LIFE again. I want to be a BRAVE GIRL. I CAN be. I just need a plan."

Is this a little too much information? I don't think so. I think so many of us are going through hard times right now. And I seriously can't think of a better place to share and be understood than by my blog friends. Each one of you is so kind and understanding.

Today I am reaching out. I pouring out my soul in order to heal and start fresh. Each of YOU inspires me daily and have helped me have HOPE in my dark days. 

Overall I am pretty happy. I have been blessed in countless ways...

*My family and I are healthy

*We have a roof over our head (although this has been a HUGE source of my stress)

*We have food on our table (our garden is helping so much!!)

*We have wonderful friends that share their light with us when we need it

*We have been able to go on a few mini trips thanks to my amazing Mom!!

Most importantly we have our FAITH.

With each family prayer we say we thank our Father in Heaven for our blessings. It seems just when we need it the most...we are blessed with money to pay a bill. Honestly a few miracles have been given to us and I am so, so grateful.

Leanne encouraged me to BE REAL...she encourages us all to BE REAL. Here is an excerpt from her latest post...

The truth is . . . it's not always rose colored glasses here. Lord knows, I'm not always happy. The girls aren't always just bathed and smelling like baby lotion and sitting like little angels reading wonderful novels from writers long ago. Sometimes it's more like stinky little 'played outside all day long' girls with knots in their hair and fights over whose Barbie doll that really belongs to. -Leanne

This post spoke VOLUMES to me. Thank you so much, Leanne!!

Soraya...well she is just one of those soulful writers that fills my heart with light!! Her post on why she blogs had me saying YES!! THIS IS WHY I BLOG, TOO!!!

Now...here's the thing about blogging (and this is difficult, if not impossible to explain to someone unless they have experienced it for themselves)...but it changed my life!!! And I am not being melodramatic, I swear (although I do have a tendency to be sometimes). But it absolutely changed ...me!!! Now when I look back and read through some of my earlier posts...I see someone in search of her voice. A little unsure, a little desolate + lost...but still...showing up. I see someone who has a sense of humor...and who tries. -Soraya

That last line...and who tries. Oh, I love that!! You see since I've become a Blogger I have tried more things and put myself out there more than ever. I paint now! I draw now! I have 3 craft shows under my belt! I never would have tried any of those things without my blog!!

And then their is Stephanie Ackerman from Homegrown Hospitality. Her post reminded me how I can get direction back into my life....

Number 2 and 3 on my summer list are to stay on a schedule and well, make a schedule because without one, I am totally un-focused and out of balance and right now, at this very moment, as I sit and type this at 12:29 in the afternoon, I am completely out of focus and slightly off balance and honestly, I do not work well this way and when I get this way, all I want to do is sit down and read one of the three books I am reading right now...which reminds me that this is coming soon and well, reading always leads to a nap...which is maybe what I will do after I finish this long run-on-sentence-blog-post and cross a few things off my list...  -Stephanie

Do you know how long it's been since I wrote a list and kept it?? 

Here is my LIST for today:

1. put clothes away

2. laundry {daily}

3. Create index card

4. Work on Color challenge

5. Blog 

6. Exchange planner

7. 3:30 Art Experience to throw clay {yes, I am learning how to throw}

8. 5PM church meeting

It feesl so good to have this list!!

I know things will get better. I know life isn't always so hard. I intend on working on "Embrace each day and live it." Keeping it real though means it's not gonna happen overnight. 

But I  am gonna work on it.

Journal entry from this morning...

"I need a FIRE in my belly again. I want my heart to sing again. I want to look in the mirror and TRULY love what I see again. I am going to OVERCOME what is holding me back. I so desperately want to FLY again!!"

Here's to making lists, overcoming our weakness's, finding joy in the journey and flying.

Who is with me?

Keep Going

Hmmmm, trying to think of something witty to say. Really wanted to share my SEWING story with you all. But as life would have it my husband and I have been thrown a curve ball and I am trying to deal with it all.

Life is never easy. All I can say is right now I am so grateful for my faith, my friends and my family.

I am taking the weekend to think about my life and decide what in the heck we're gonna do now.

*sigh*....

I promised to share my story this year...the good, the bad and the ugly. Well this is the ugly right here, girls. The truth is teenagers are EXTREMELY hard to raise. And just when you think everything is going to be fine....it isn't. In fact it's so far from fine that you just laugh because if you didn't laugh you'd break down into a big mile of messy goo.

I am almost to that goo stage.

Almost...

But I have made the choice and I am going to keep on going.

a piece from Brave Girl's Club

I am going to keep on trying my best, doing my best, loving my best. I will be here for my kids. I will listen to them and try to understand.

Have a restful weekend, girls.

A Little Challenge...

So my last post I shared with you how my MOJO had taken a hike and that, after a month it was slowly coming back. Well, you know what?? I want it back 100%. And the very best way I know how to get it back is to just put in the time...

The creative time that is!


‘The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself.’  Alan Alda

Like Alan Alda says...I want to leave my city of comfort and go into the wilderness of my intuition. 

I want to take all those ideas running around in my head and get them down on canvas or in my art journal or scrap with photos of my family.

Art is what I love.

It fills me up like nothing else.

So, I have decided that starting Monday, January 23rd to create everyday for 2 weeks.

Everyday I will journal or paint or scrap or draw...something.

AND I will share it here with you.

What to know the best part??

I want YOU to join me!!

I know, I know...there are about a dozen e-courses going on out there right now...but all I'm asking is just 2 weeks of your time! 

January 23-February 6.

“There is no doubt that creativity is the most important human resource of all. Without creativity, there would be no progress, and we would be forever repeating the same patterns.” — Edward de Bono

So, will you join me? Come on, girls!! Let's get our creativity on!!!

Oh and don not worry!! You do NOT need to post your work unless you want to:) The goal is to JUST CREATE!!!

You girls are awesome:)

Mojo is BACK!

It is only when we silent

the blaring sounds of our daily existence 

that we can finally hear the whispers

of truth that life reveals to us,

as it stands knocking

on the doorsteps of our hearts.  

~K.T. Jong

 

 

 

 

It had been a month since I had created anything. 

I would try and try 

to paint

or scrap

or journal...

but nothing would happen.

My mojo had dried up.

 

It was depressing.

I mean, I LOVE to create.

To play

and explore

with paint

pens

ink

and glue.

Finally,

at long last

I was able to spend an entire day

in  my new space.

It was wonderful.

And just what I needed.

A piece I'm working on for a friend.

Most of the day was

spent without radio

or televison.

 

Just me and my thoughts. 

A piece I'm working on for a friend.

I realized I don't spend near

enough time just creating.

Just being in my space...

no agenda...

just playing.

Must do this very soon.

Background for one of my Brave Girls

One of my very favorite 

things about Saturday was

the Body Book

I am creating for the 

Body Restoration Class

I am taking with Brave Girls Club.

Here's a peek...

What about you? Have you been in your studio lately? How long have you gone without creating? How did you get your mojo back??

Please share!!

Oh Poor Me....

So today is just one of those days.

I am ouchy and disagreeable

and tired

and whiny

and hungry.

I am having a bad hair day.

My skin is dry and flaky.

My clothes are worn

and don't fit the way I want them to.

Blah, Blah, Blah.

Wait

a 

minute.

What 

am 

I 

doing?

This is so NOT the way I envisioned

my year to go.

No, ma'am.

I am going to pick myself up,

dust myself off

and 

SMILE.

Smiling is good right?

I am going to open up my gratitude journal

and write down 5 things I'm grateful for.

I am going to

not be so hard on myself.

The past week and a half I have been working out,

watching what I eat

and journaling it all.

I promised myself I 

would have patience 

with myself 

throughout my journey

and 

NO MATTER HOW HARD

it got...

I

would

not

quit.

And I haven't.

I'm just whining.

Today.

To you.

Thanks for listening....

Trusting Myself in 2011

Oh how giddy I am about this New Year.

2012.

Somehow it doesn't seem possible

to even be in the 2000's...

ya' know?

I remember when I was in high school

and my friends and I 

would talk about how old 

we'd be in the year 2000.

I think that all came from the 

song "1999" by Prince.

Remember that?

I am 45.

This is the year I take my life up a notch.

No more waiting.

I learned so much this year.

It began with finding Brave Girl's Club

and taking Soul Restoration 1.

Read all about that here.

That class was life changing...seriously.

And this Time Line in particular allowed me 

to see my life...

This page in particular changed my life.

I know it sounds so strange

so over the top dramatic...

but it's true.

It's 100% true.

I realized that those 5 years of my life

between 1972 & 1976 made me 

who I am today. 

The events that happened in those

young years made me see life 

very differently.

I found the Spirit here.

 I learned how to pray here.

Those 2 things saved my life.

I took another on-line class this year...

just for fun! 

SheArt with Christy Tomlison.

This was my first girl...Claire.

Christy's class opened my mind and my heart.

Her class along with all I had learned in 

Soul Restoration really helped me

find my artistic voice.

I began making my Brave Girl's like CRAZY!!

 The more I created the better I became.

And the more I found my own style.

I was so happy putting words with images.

I began creating art to "Uplift, Encourage & Inspire".

I found out that to tell 

my story and 

share what was in my heart

I used birds and butterflies.

Collage painting

fabric scraps

sheet music

and

lace 

all became my staples.

2011 was the year of the Art Journal as well.

In June I signed up for another

Brave Girl class...

Soul Restoration 2.

Melody taught me that in order

to live my Big, Bold, Beautiful Life

I had to make better choices.

I had to to choose how to use my time.

I took this to heart and am 

still trying to watch less TV, 

limit my computer time

and spend my time doing

what makes me truly happy...

Family

Art

Writing

Reading Scriptures

Taking care of me.

Despite all this encouragement

I had several bouts with the Fear/Doubt Monster

But then

using the tools I learned in SR1 & 2

I had this HUGE A-Ha Moment.

I realized I truly was a 

Brave Girl!!

And I began living MY LIFE

on MY TERMS!

I was determined to live my

life in the best

way I knew how...

With COURAGE!

And 

GUSTO!

And I did.

I even sold my Brave Art in

2 craft shows

and gave many pieces as gifts 

to friends, family

& complete strangers.

I found myWINGS

in 2011.

I am on the right path

going into 2012.

I have sooo many new and 

exciting goals...

so many areas of my life

I want to GROW in.

My WORD for 2011

was REINVENT.

I think I did a great job of

reinventing my art.

The way I think about myself as an artist.

Where will 2012 lead?

What WORD will I choose to lead and guide me in the New Year?

I will share on Monday, January 2nd.

Happy New Year Girls!!

Heart Whispers

"All I can do is act according to my 

deepest instinct, and be whatever I 

must be-crazy or ribald or sad or

compassionate or loving or

indifferent. That is all anybody can do."

                             -Katharine Butler Hathaway

Lately I've been listening.
To my husband
my children
my friends
inspirational speakers
and church leaders.

And myself.
My heart.
Trying to hear what it's telling me.

I get side tracked so easily you know.
I'll go from wanting this
to wanting that
to wanting something entirely different.

So I listen....

And I hear.
I trust what my heart is telling me.

I have a bad habit of not being patient.
Of not following through with my heart made plans.
I have this whisper
then this grand idea
and do bit here and there...

But then I just stop.
I don't follow through.

I don't follow through because I get side-tracked.
Not by TV or the internet or other stuff....
No.
I get side tracked because of someone elses dream coming true.

I compare myself to everyone.
And when they may have success at something
then I am certain that they
just took my dream away 
and I get angry and sad
and I just want to say WHY can't MY dreams come true??


But then I stop.
I listen.
My heart is reminding me
that it wasn't their dream I wanted to achieve.
I have my own dream.
And while their dream is fine and all...
it's not mine.

So, I am listening.

I create my art to:
1) encourage
2) uplift
3) inspire

My greatest inspiration comes from women who need a boost.
Women who think that life can't get any better.
They sit around and beat themselves up
because they don't think they are good enough, or pretty enough or skinny enough.
They don't think they can be who they want to be.
They have lost their dreams over and over again.
It's those women that move me to create my art.

So I remember that my dreams are my dreams.
They are unique.

"Every time you don't follow your

inner guidance, you feel a loss of

energy, loss of power, a sense of

spiritual deadness."

      -Shakti Gawain

Do you follower your heart? What is it saying?


PS...The fabulous Leanne, creator of the darling Anna Lee, is reworking my blog banner for me...looking forward to something fresh and new:)

Keep On Keeping On-{WIN}

"Keep on going, and the chances

are that you will stumble on 

something, perhaps when you

are least expecting it. I never heard

of anyone ever stumbling on

something sitting down."

Charles F. Kettering

So I stumbled a bit yesterday.

I'll be fine.

And I learned a lot.

And actually I am quite excited to see 

what more I can accomplish

before another show 

happens along.

I spent the afternoon in my space,

listening to the Brave Girls 

"Restore" CD. 

It's just what I needed.

Brave Art by Les

It's wonderful what happens when 

you put inspiring music on

and mix with paints and canvas

and words.  

The best kind of therapy I know!

This is my favorite look...rich, warm brown

with a creamy white.

I have just the perfect

little bird and verse that's going on here.

As I sat in my space,

lost in the music,

my thoughts turned to you.

How much each one of you, my readers,

my friends mean to me.

I appreciate your words of encouragement and support.

Soooooo, to say THANK YOU

I painted you a Brave Girl!!

Now I only painted one...

so really, she can only go home with 

one of you...

And she really, really wants to!!

All you have to do take this sweet girl home

is answer this question...

"What do you do when 

life knocks you down and you

just don't think you can go anymore...

not even one more step...

how do you lift yourself back up

and "Do it Anyway?"

Please leave your answer in the comment section. 

You have until Monday, October 17th at Midnight.

I will pick a random winner and post

on my blog by Tuesday, October 18th.

Be sure and stop by tomorrow...

Smash 45 Begins....

Linking up with Rook 17 today!!

Enter here