Monday, February 13, 2012

We all go through Trials

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.  ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Nobody ever said life would be easy. In fact most of us know from experience the above quote about sums it up...sorrows definitely know how to swim. 

For each one of us those sorrows are different, true...but without a doubt each one of us goes through heartache and pain. No one is exempt.

Through the years I've known deep sadness in my life. I watched as my father lay in a hospital bed dying of leukemia at the age of 59. I was with my mother in law as she lay in a coma for days after suffering two brain aneurisms. She eventually left this world at the young age of 52.

When my sweet daughter Em was just 9 months old I found her little body, lying in her crib and barely breathing. I remember picking her up and feeling her "thud" against my shoulder. Surely she was gone is all I kept thinking. Miraculously we got her to the hospital in time and my baby girl lived.

What I've learned from all the pain and sorrow that's come my way in the past 45 years is that eventually the sun will come out. Your heart will feel light and carefree again. There will be hope and joy in your days. 

You'll dream again
and wish again
and feel like you can do anything again.

But it's when your in the thick of it that's it's so hard to know that. It's hard to breath because you feel like you're drowning.

Drowning in sorrow.
Wondering what was so bad in your life before that you ever did not feel happy because right now you are smack dab in the middle of pain and hurt and frustration and you just want it all to go away.

That's where I'm at right now.

Yesterday in church two of the strongest women I know gave two amazing talks on trials. It was as if they were speaking directly to me. 

I love the Lord with all my heart. With all my soul. He has never failed me. He has always been there for me.

As most of you know I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Along with the Bible we have 3 other favorite of these is known as the Doctrine and Covenants. This particular quote comes from Christ when Joseph Smith was being held in the Liberty Jail...

"My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."  D&C 121:7-8

This scripture gives my heart such peace. I know that what I'm feeling will surely just be a small moment in time. Each one of us must go through a refiner's's the Lord's way of molding and shaping us, allowing us to become better and stronger people.

I am grateful for each one of you as well. Each comment here and on facebook and email I cherish. My spirits have been lifted and I have even smiled {just a little bit}.

I have been doing a bit of doodling lately while sitting on the couch. I forgot how much fun and relaxing that can be. Very soon I hope to spend some quality time in my studio. 

How are you girls? How do you handle the trials in your life? I would love to know!


  1. I know what you are talking about. Just the other day I wished to go back to the normal crappy because this extra crappy crappiness is just too much. How is it that I am not grateful for normal everyday crappy? Why can I not just go back there....? Hmmm.

    What I do know is that you are strong, and you have an amazing support network in your church and family. I hope that everything is ok with you?!

    Sending you much love as you navigate your way back to feeling normal. xo

  2. I am sorry that you are going through something hard....this is a poem I heard in a talk once and it always seems to give me such comfort......

    My Life is but a weaving
    between my Lord and me;
    I cannot choose the colors
    He worketh steadily.

    Oft times He weaveth sorrow
    And I, in foolish pride,
    Forget He sees the upper,
    And I the under side.

    Not til the loom is silent
    And the shuttles cease to fly,
    Shall God unroll the canvas
    And explain the reason why.

    The dark threads are as needful
    In the Weaver's skillful hand,
    As the threads of gold and silver
    In the pattern He has planned.

  3. Sounds as though things ere tough your way...i smileand laugh and worry as well..i always try and see positive in situations...there is always one ...even though sometimes you have to search really hard to find one..take

  4. Awe, I am sorry you are hurting. I hope things are well for you (I don't know if I handle them at all, I just cry a lot when I'm hurting ;) and I hope you and your family have a wonderful Valentine's day, xoxoxo

  5. One thing I always come back to is that I think the Lord blessed each of us with an amazing capacity for HOPE. I think of all the people I know who have gone through truly deep, dark, scary times, and who have come out the other side stronger and wiser. Even when all we want to do is just go to sleep until it's all over, we don't! We put one foot in front of the other and HOPE--even if that's all we have. Keep hoping, Les! Keep feeling the prayers and love of everyone around you. You're amazing! HOPE!


I appreciate your thoughts and ideas...they inspire me!! I will be visiting you soon. Have a CREATIVE day!!

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