So many parts of my life are still up in the air. *sigh*.
Must. Have. Patience.
For the most part I do. I mean my family and I have been through soooo much in the past 13 months and we are still here...still strong...still struggling a bit.
It's funny because since Christmas it hasn't felt like we're struggling...we went out like most families in Maryville for dinner and movies and even spent a day shopping. We were able to do those things because of gift cards and me working...all of which I am grateful.
Today, as the financial stresses creep back in I was reminded of the monster that lies in wait. He is ugly and scary and I wish he'd go away. It's like when I was a kid and I was convinced there was a monster in my closet. There I was, covers pulled up tight, under my chin...eyes barely peeking out...scared he'd pounce and gobble me up.
My husband and I are waiting on something BIG...we think it's gonna happen in the next few days. Believe me...you will know.
When that day comes...my entire story will come out with it. It must.
Because I know that if I got through all this the past year...you can get through anything, too. I know it!!
He, who every morning plans the transactions of the day, and follows that plan, carries a thread that will guide him through a labyrinth of the most busy life. -Victor Hugo
I am feeling pulled in so many different directions right now. Working full-time, being a mom, trying to workout and eat right, blogging, my art. It has me thinking about what it is that truly matters in my life. What is it that I truly want??
I mean TRUE is my Word of the year and listening to my heart is the most important thing I can do, right???
When it comes to my art I truly love the creating process!! I LOVE it. However, when I come home from teaching art all day at the elementary school I am not only physically exhausted but mentally as well. Keeping up with kindergarten through 4th graders is demanding...lol:) I have made it to my studio a few times and played in my art journal...but nothing like I should.
And speaking of should...do you ever feel like you should do this or that when it comes to your art?? What I mean by that is lately I find myself saying..."Leslie, you should really work on your LifeBook lessons" when my heart is telling me it just wants to paint and let go and not really think too hard. Or I may be thinking of a canvas piece but instead of working on that I will guilt myself by saying...."you know you haven't created anything to sell for months...how are you a REAL artist??? You have nothing to sell!!!!"
Do you do this???
Lately, as I'm reading others blogs and seeing their amazing work and all the opportunities coming their way I find myself coming down on me. "Leslie, you aren't doing anything to move forward with your art! You are pretty much a loser and your chance is over."
But then I say to myself..."What are you thinking??!! You are teaching a mixed media class that YOU wrote!! You are spending five days a week learning and teaching art to the most amazing audience....children!! You are learning and growing and becoming a better listener and teacher."
Yes, I am...and that is something ver TRUE to my heart. Teaching is a passion of mine. I LOVE it. It fills me up!! There is nothing like sharing your heart with others!!
Victor Hugo is right. When we take the time to map out our day...we can take our busy lives and turn the into something great. What I've realized is I don't just want to be busy....I want my days to have meaning. I don't want to feel like I'm just trudging through yet another day filled with dozens of to-do's. I want my life to be filled with purpose and passion and doing what's TRUE.
And I can do that...even with a busy life.
I can.
I will.
This week I am not just making time for all my to-do's.... I am writing down all my TRUES. All those things that bring my life purpose. I am making time this week to just be in my studio...even if all I get done is painting a background or sorting through a basket of stamps.
I need time to just BE.
When we take that quiet time...it's then we can hear our hearts. We can see and feel what we yearn for in life.
That's when we find our calling. That's when we create something beautiful.
That's when we really begin living TRUE.
How do YOU stay TRUE to your heart, girls?? Please do share!!!
No matter how hard I try...I just can't keep up with it all. Now that I am working full-time (for the next 6 weeks or so) I can't do it all. I am trying to cook, clean, work, create and blog AND workout! I am going into overload mode and stressing myself out.
Today I am making a few adjustments. First and foremost I am so grateful for the job and am trying to do my best (i am teaching elementary art...what a blast!) AND I have begun my workouts at the gym!!! Yay ME!!! During my free-hour today I am sitting down, pen in had and sorting the rest of my priorities out.
I miss blogging and inspiring, girls. Please know that. I LOVE this place and all of you! Tell me...how do YOU manage to fit it all in??? I MUST know!
Having fun playing around with Photo Bucket and figuring it all out:) This is a pic of my now 18 yearold son on the night of his SURPRISE PARTY!! Oh what fun we had!! And guess what?!?!??
He was surprised!!!
My sweet son was born at approx. 10:18 PM December 27th, 1994. I had no idea what I was in for that night. All the joys, struggles, frustrations, laughter, silliness, heartaches and blessings. Jacks has given them all to me and then some-lol!!
Weeks before his big day, Jackson kept on bugging us about a surprise party. He would say things like..."I just know you guys would never, ever give me a surprise party!" Dave, Em and I would just smile and shake our heads. We had been planning his party all along.
The party table
My Jackson Boy...I love you!
Jacks graduates on Mother's Day this year and just found out he was accepted to Northwest Missouri State University right here in Maryville. He is such a hometown boy...he wants to go to college here getting his degree in Elementary Education and end up teaching in the area. I am proud of my son and am so happy he loves our town as much as I do:)
I know Christmas was nearly a month ago (can u believe it??!) but I really wanted to share our holidays with you.
Most of you know I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You may know us by the young men you see wearing white shirts, ties and a little black name badge. These sweet young men come from all over the world and serve two years in an area sharing Jesus Christ with those they meet. We enjoy having the missionaries in our home and serve them dinner every Monday night. During the holidays it can be ard as they don't get to be with their famiies...this year we invited our missionaries over for Christmas Eve night...we played games and enjoyed a few treats!
The young man sitting between Dave and Emma is Elder Tubbs. He is from Provo, Utah and has been on his mission just a few months. Elder Moyle is in the white and is from Sandy, Utah. Please take time to watch this 4 minute video about his AMAZING great, great, great grandfather....it will bring tears to your eyes and inspire you to DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!
A few Christmas morning highlights....
YeS!! I got one of my FAVE perfumes....Bohemian from American Eagle:)
Dave and I didn't a lot for each other...well honestly he went way overboard on me. He is soooo sweet!! I had no idea he would get me much...I mean we had talked about it and decided to just spend on kids so I didn't get him a whole lot....but I did surprise him with his fave cashews:)
All Jacks wanted for his Birthday and Christmas was this sweet Buckle jacket!! Guess what?? He got it!!!
My sweet Emma received a BIG package from her sweetheart and found this darling Victoria's Secret purse inside. I can't wait to tell you all about the love of Em's life...that's for another post:)
Christmas night we headed over to Grams...the missionaries came along, too. Grams had stockings for both of them:)
Here is silly Grams!! Love this!!!
As you can see Christmas was sooo much fun!! We are truly, truly blessed with the most amazing people in our lives.
Here's a quick of a canvas I created for my mixed media class I am teaching at The Art Experience..."With All My Heart".
My class is based around all the things we find iin our hearts. Last week we talked about all things TRUE. We had a wonderful time. I am so thankful for the opportunity!!
Girls, I hope you enjoyed all the PHOTOS!! Photo Bucket is kind of cool with all the photo effects...but Blogger would be so much easier. I may have to pay the monthly fee like Kay suggested. I need patience!!! LOL!
Oh and one more thing...we are about to embark on an adventure that will create peace in our lives. I will share more when I can!!!!
2013 is barely underway and I am moving along at 100 mph!! But you know I tend to like life like that...crazy and busy and moving along. I had intended to settle in and write more, work on my Life Book and begin a running program....but two days ago I was offered a 6 week substitute teaching position and I said yes. The thing I am most happy about?? It's teaching elementary art. Now you know how much I LOVE art and little kids and I just click...it's a win/win for sure!!
The other thing I am over the moon about is the money. Money has been tight and this will help tremendously!!:)
Soooo...even though I am going to be busier than I expected for the next two months I intend on blogging and creating and yes...even running. {more on that goal of mine next post}
I still can't post pics...soooo maddening! It must be Blogger telling me my account is too full and thanks to Andria from Drawing Near I will begin using PhotoBucket. Not today, though. I will need to take the time to figure that one out.
This Friday begins my first ever mixed media/art journaling class called "With All My Heart". I am teaching it at The Art Experience. If you're local and interested just shoot me an email or stop by my facebook page.
So when I wrote my Word post Blogger was giving me fits and wouldn' allow me to share any photos. And to top that off our house was busy, busy that day and try as I might it was nearly impossible to settle down and write!! So I honestly don't feel like my post on my Word TRUE was what I had envisioned but sometimes you just gotta go with it...lol:)
The next two days my son Jacks will have the laptop at his speech and debate tournament so here I sit, very early in the morning trying to get all I can done on the computer!! If things work out the way we plan very soon I will have my own computer again. Keeping my fingers crossed!!!
So anyway...here I sit, all warm and cozy under my blanket, writing a post and just now I try to upload my photos and guess what?? Blogger won't let me again!! What the heck??! I swear...such torture you put me through Blogger...lol:) Soooo....lots to share in photos and yet I still can't....grrrrrr soooo frustrating!
This weekend proves to be a busy one. Today my husband are headed out of town to do our grocery shopping at Sam's Club and Aldi's then spend a quiet evening at home. Maybe pick up a movie. It's been ages since we've done that! Tomorrow I work at The Art Experience and am hoping for a busy day. Sunday is church and working on Primary stuff afterwards. Today I am "stepping" into the Life Book classroom for the first time since my computer is fixed and picking up my first assignment....can't wait to work on that over the weekend, too!!!
Girls, have a splendid weekend and see you on Monday...let's hope Blogger is 100% working so I can begin sharing photos....so much art to share!!
It was as though she could hardly stay inside herself, it was as though she were too small to hold so much of joy, it was as though she were washed through with light. And how astonishing to feel this sheer bliss, for here she was, not doing and not going to do a single unselfish thing, not going to do a thing she didn't want to do. -an excerpt from "The Enchanted April"
Here it is...already well into the second week of 2013 and I haven't shared my WORD yet. If you follow me on facebook then you know my computer was attacked with a virus and had to be fixed. Ahhhh...it is so very good to be back.
Throughout the entire month of December I thought about my Word for 2013. STORY was my Word for 2012...and what I a story I had to share. So many trials and tribulations rocked my world, yet I had made a promise to myself and you that I would share my STORY...keeping it real no matter how painful. I am grateful for this blog format where I can come, bare my soul and have so much support. This is my favorite part of the Web.
So anyway...I knew that 2013 was going to be a much needed and welcome fresh start for me. With the lawsuit behind us (for the most part) and our finances looking up I had no doubt that this year would hold many happy moments.
I learned so very much about myself the past 12 months....how brave and strong I really am. How much I rely on my faith to get me through each day.
This is the year I listen to my heart.
This is the year I live what's in my heart.
This is the year I live TRUE.
Above all,
be true to yourself,
and if you
cannot put your heart in it,
take
yourself out of it.
--Hardy D. Jackson
I look forward to hearing all about YOUR Word, too!! Leave me a comment with your Word or a link to your blog!!! It is soooo good to be back, girls:).
