"For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again." [Proverbs 24:16] Bible
I have chosen a Word of the Year for over ten years now. The inspiration came from one of my favorite scrapbookers...Ali Edwards. I have always been in awe of how GOOD she is at documenting her life. So when she encouraged her readers to pick a Word and build on it all year long....I couldn't resist.
Some of my Words through the years have been...
Possibilites
Reinvent
Story
and
this
Year's
Word
was
Commit.
Sometimes I just KNOW what my Word will be and I thought that was going to be the case for 2017.
LOVE was my first pick for MONTHS. I even had a cuff made in the fall thinking that would be it.
But then
when I REALLY got to thinking about it...it changed.
And as usual instead of me choosing my Word...
my Word chose me.
I honestly can't remember when I've been so excited about a New Year, A New Word and New Goals.
2016 was a quiet, self-reflecting year for me.
I spent a lot of time in my own little cocoon...reading, dreaming and being way too hard on myself.
2017 is my Coming Out Party!!
I am breaking out of my shell...
Ready to take on the World!
My Word for 2017 is
PERSEVERANCE.
I have made some pretty sizable goals for myself in 2017.
The one I am most excited about...
the one I know will change my perspective in life...
the one that will allow me to reach ALL my other goals...
is
to
become
a Runner
again.
In my 30's I began running and LOVED it.
It changed me.
I felt more confident...
more determined to reach my goals.
I wasn't afraid
and I ALWAYS did my best.
Not gonna lie...
I am in terrible shape.
I have 35 pounds heavier...
I am out of breath quickly...
and I am 50 years old.
But you know what??
NONE of those things is going to STOP ME!!
I
AM
going
to
SUCCEED.
I would LOVE to know what YOUR Word for 2017 is.
Please share with me in the comments here or in my FB group!!
“A kind of light spread out from her. And everything changed color. And the world opened out. And a day was good to awaken to. And there were no limits to anything. And the people of the world were good and handsome. And I was not afraid any more.” ― John Steinbeck, East of Eden
In this world of social media we are constantly taking photos and sharing them with the world. Our vacations, our celebrations, our daily lives, our pets, our kids, ourselves.
We more often than not only show people what we want them to see...the good stuff.
The happy times.
The "Hey, look at what I did" type of stuff.
And that's Ok.
But sometimes while we are scrolling through our Facebook feed or Instagram account that little green monster takes root in our Hearts....making us feel "less than".
Making us wonder why everyone else seems to be living a better life than we are.
Sometimes I go through my own FB posts and think...WOW, I am so blessed. I have been all across the United States, I have an amazing family, home, pets, things.
My life looks so easy and perfect on Facebook.
Everything is all so pretty and the way a life is supposed to be.
But the reality is, underneath all the good, the "perfect" is me and my depression.
Instead of a love of self...I have a hate and loathing and disgust.
This is a recent Selfie I posted....
I don't think most people would see how much I really dislike myself in this photo.
True, this was a good day.
I felt pretty this day.
I felt ok about myself.
But the truth is 80% of the time I don't.
I hide.
I sit on my couch wasting time and wondering where I went.
Where did all my desire for life go?
It's not that I am not happy...I have hundreds of moments of JOY weekly.
But in my Heart I am not happy with ME.
The past few years I have piled on 30 pounds of stress weight. And instead of being active and doing something about it I continue to eat when I'm not hungry which leads me into a deeper place of anger and bitterness and isolation.
But my friends, yesterday....
All
that
CHANGED.
It CHANGED!
And I MUST share it with you so if you are like me and feeling awful about yourself and your life you can know that you are not alone!!!
YOU
ARE NOT
ALONE!
And maybe you can learn something from me!
Yesterday my Mama, Roger and I went to the Kansas City Dinner Theater. We have had season tickets for years and I really enjoy spending that time with them.
Yesterday as I tried to find something to wear that was festive I realized jeans and shirts I had bought just a few months ago were getting too tight. All day all I could think about was how tight my pants were and I kept screaming at myself in my head...."What's wrong with YOU! Why can't you just get a grip and be disciplined!!!!"
And as I sat there watching the play all I could think about was the dessert I had ordered for intermission. I wasn't even hungry but I ordered it anyway. I was having this battle in my head..."Don't eat that dessert. You don't need it. But I want it. It will taste so good. And besides it's Christmas...I deserve a treat."
I ate it.
And as I ate it I looked around me and saw women just a bit older than me, overweight, eating, too. None of them looked happy.
I got back on the bus to go home feeling VERY full and tired from all the sugar.
An old friend I haven't seen in years was on the bus, too. We had visited a bit on the way down and enjoyed catching up.
Now, as I sat on the bus, ready to take a nap and reflect yet again on my failures of the day, my friend got my attention and we began chatting. It felt so good talking, it made me forget myself for awhile.
As she talked her mood began changing a bit as she shared a story with me about a loved one's medical emergency. As she shared I realized the loved one she was talking about was her husband. The more she shared it became evident that he had died.
He was only 54 and was killed in a terrible accident.
She never got to see him before he passed away.
She never got to say goodbye.
And then I remembered on our way down she was telling about all these bus trips she had been taking and was planning and I had thought to myself..."Where's her husband? Are they divorced?"
And there I was sitting on the bus hearing her tell me he was dead. And even though she loved all the trips she was going on...she was alone. She had no one to share them with. The love of her life was gone.
I got home and the house was empty. I kept thinking about her story and she was going home to an empty house, too...one that would always be empty.
I began crying.
I was thinking about my own sweet husband...the love of my life and my Birthday gift from him.
My dream trip to Hawaii. We are supposed to be going at the end of May.
But I had already decided we weren't going. We were going to cancel.
We can go next year, I said.
I am out of shape, I whined.
And besides I hate the way I look
and there is no way I am going to Hawaii looking and feeling like this.
I cried harder.
And then the Awakening happened.
I realized we are never promised the next minute, the next hour, the next week.
We never know when the ones we love will be gone.
And what have I been doing for THREE YEARS???!!!!!
I have been eating
and feeling sorry for myself
and worrying
and only half living.
I haven't given ANYTHING MY ALL in YEARS.
I haven't been dedicated or disciplined.
But I realized last night that I can BEGIN....
When my family got home I told them we needed to talk.
I poured out my HEART to my sweet family.
They not only listened to me but they HEARD ME!
I feel like George Bailey from "It's a Wonderful Life" ...it's the scene when realizes ZuZu's petals are in his pocket. And it's snowing and his lip is bleeding.
He realizes
He
is
ALIVE.
I know the Lord placed my friend in my path yesterday.
Her story was what I needed to hear.
I know I have a long way to go with healing myself...with loving myself.
But I haven't felt the desire, the excitement to TRULY get back up until now.
Girls, if you are struggling I TRULY understand and want you to know that I love you and I am praying for you. I ask for your prayers as well.
Merry Christmas!!!!
And here's to a Brand New Year to grow and learn to Love not only ourselves but each other.
I remember the EXACT moment I saw a journal page from Dina Wakley. I was searching for ideas on the internet for my new obsession....mixed-media. I had been a scrapbooker for YEARS but their was something about mixed-media that drew me in.
I was never what you call "an artist" so I loved the "free for all" feel of collage, paint and glue.
BUT....
the MOMENT I saw Dina's messy, bold, GLORIOUS pages I thought...
now THIS is FUN! This is ME!
One of my fave pages inspired by Dina's inky, messy style. I remember using a spray bottle for the first time on my pages....it was a BLAST!!!
Her book "Art Journal Freedom" was about to be released and I couldn't WAIT! The minute it came in the mail I devoured this book. Playing and practicing along the way.
My very favorite thing that came out of her book was I FOUND MY STYLE!
It was the most FREEING thing that happened to me!
At times I suffer from anxiety and depression. Nothing gets me out of a funk like CREATING ART!!
I would gather up an entire pad of watercolor paper, my Dylusions Inks and sprays and my water-bottle and go outside. For the next hour or so I just let myself GO. It was Magnificent!
I use Dina's girl stamps more than any of my stamps combined I think! There are just so many creative things you can do with them!
Through the years I have tried many "styles" of journaling and creating on canvas...but I always come back to ME...my messy, beautiful, colorful pages filled with Words to Inspire.
Another set of my Dina stamps and my Dina inspired style.
As I continued to create in my journals I found myself using Hearts in nearly all my work.
Soooo...of course I had to purchase Dina's Heart stamps.
I LOVE using texture as well in my pages...lots of gesso here along with modeling paste.
Each heart was stamped on painted paper made by me, cut out and glued to the page.
This is one of my favorite pages...everything from the gorgeous Dylusions sprays, to the vintage girl and Dina Hearts.
I am so grateful I found Dina Wakley's books....they TRULY changed the way I create and helped me embrace my inner artist!
"...and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true."
-"Somewhere Over the Rainbow"
Harold Arlen
And so "Heart Revolution" comes to a close. I am so grateful for those of you who participated! Remember the ENTIRE 6 week class will be up in my FB group Mind.Body.Soul under the Files section. That way you can take your time to finish up! Plus feel free to share with your friends!
I want to leave you with one last song....
It happens to be one of my favorites and this version is AMAZING! I first heard it in the Adam Sandler movie..."Fifty First Dates".
"Where troubles melt like lemon drops, high above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me..."
As you move forward in your life, I encourage you to keep on journaling and art journaling. It's so beneficial to write out our troubles, our JOYS, our sorrows....whatever is on our Hearts.
Thank you again for joining me these past weeks. Each of you TRULY blesses my life!!!
I have never been one to have a ton of friends...but the friends I DO have...they are oh so special to me and I am so GRATEFUL for each and everyone!!
I remember when this song came out...I was a Freshman at Northwest Missouri State University, working on our college radio station...KDLX. I played this song all the time and ALWAYS thought about my friends I had left at home. This song is our theme for our last week of Heart Revolution. This sweet girl right here is one of my DEAREST and most CHERISHED friends from high school...
This is Mirjam. She was a foreign exchange student from Hamburg, Germany my Senior Year at Fort Madison High School. We had newspaper together and seemed to hit it off immediately. We spent many days and nights laughing, listening to Madonna and going to school dances. Mirjam holds a special place in my Heart for ALWAYS!
In the past two years I have been VERy fortunate to see her not once but TWICE! She and her darling family have visited my hometown which is only four hours from Maryville. This photo was taken less than a month ago...it was such a pretty day!
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one. -C.S. Lewis
What surprises me most about my friends is WHERE I have met them. Through the years I have learned that it's not how long you know someone that makes them a friend....
But rather the matters of the HEART. These group of lovelies are my Sisters from Brave Girl's Camp. Each one of them sassy, sweet, amazing, charming, silly, honest, beautiful, layered and LOVING in their OWN, unique way. These women are REAL. And I am honored to call them friend. 'I'm gonna stand right by your side through thick and thin..." -Clarence Clemmons
I met these sweet girls at Art Beach in South Carolina....talk about a gift! Sherri, Christy and Sherry. All so talented and AMAZING!!!!!
This girl right here...Sherry. Let me tell you...she is a KEEPER! WE just started talking and didn't stop. Sherry lives in Upstate New York....looking forward to hanging out in her art studio one day soon!!! Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
When you live in the Unites States and you have never been to Australia...then the odds of having a Bestie that not only is FROM Australia but LIVES there, too....is pretty slim. Unless of course you go to an Art Retreat and are so blessed to meet your TRIBE and that one person you meet is FROM Australia and LIVES in Australia and just GETS you. And you really, really hope you get to meet again one day...and YOU DO! Not only do you get to meet but you get to spend most of September with them!!! YAY! Sandy is wonderful, FUNNY, a good dancer (Blue Jeans On and dancing around our hotel room!!), artist, an AMAZING Mama and the BESTEST friend a girl could ask for! Friends are so IMPORTANT...and sometimes I just FORGET how incredibly fortunate I am to have the friends I do!! WOW!!!! And with this being the week of Thanksgiving I want us to focus on our beloved FRIENDS and GRATITUDE...cause, honestly they go hand in hand. When I think about Gratitude and Friendship this gal almost ALWAYS pops in my mind...
...this is Yma...or Amy as most people know her by. We met FORTY YEARS ago at a motel swimming pool in St. Louis, Mo. We have been pen pals ever since. I mean we are talking before Facebook people. We WROTE actual letters!!! This past June we met up in St. Louie and spent three days together. She is my friend for life! "Here's one thing I know...all my life...you're a friend of mine..." Clarence Clemons So this week I want YOU to think about YOUR friends. I want you to create a journal page or two celebrating your friendships. One of my goals is BE A BETTER FRIEND. Seriously, I need work in that area of my life. I mean when I see all these souls together....WOW, yeah, I need to be a better friend!!!! Make a list of ways YOU can be a better friend. Are you bad about keeping in touch? Can you do something nice for them just because?? Whatever it is I want you to list your friends then write down ONE SPECIFIC thing you can do to nurture your friendship with that person. Along with thinking about our FRIENDS...let's be GRATEFUL.
I have one more friend I want to tell you about...you know, sometimes we become friends with someone that we never, ever would have imagined...that is what happened here and it's been one of the BIGGEST BLESSINGS of my life!! That's me on the left (ugh, I must lose weight!!) next to me is Teresa Collins from Teresa Collins Designs. She is such a SWEET gal and so full of LIGHT!! Right next to her is my friend Lisa Bearnson.
I LOVE and Cherish this woman and her friendship. She is such a BEAUTIFUL Soul!! And if you would have asked me ten years ago if I was friends with Lisa I would have said...NO, I haven't even met her....but I WANT to!!! Some of you may recognize Lisa from her Creating Keepsake days...
She started this magazine in her garage and she along with her magazine became the LEADER in the Scrapbook Industry. I was a HUGE fan....subscribed to her magazine, bought every book and watched all her shows on QVC. So the fact that I am now friends with this person I followed for all those years has been such a GIFT. Lisa is REAL and AMAZING and I am HONORED to be her friend!! Not only is she smart and talented and kind but her FAITH is so inspirational. VERY PROUD to call her my friend!!!
And by the way...Lisa is STILL the leader in all things crafty! She has her company Anthology AND you can catch her on HSN...
So have a WONDERFUL time this week, girls!! What special friendships have YOU made? Who did you think you would never be friends with but now are? Where did you meet your friends? Friends play a HUGE part of our Heart Revolution...they can help us SEE. They listen and comfort us. They "get" us. I love my friends all so much!!!! “Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you.” ― A.A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner
Enjoy your week, girls. I hope you get the chance to see some of your friends over the Thanksgiving Holiday. I plan on contacting a few of MY friends just to tell them how GRATEFUL I am for their love and support of me and my Heart!!!
There is nothing over the top inspiring about it and I don't know about you but even though I loved Madonna in the 80's...her over the top style doesn't suit me well anymore.
Still this song is one of my favorites and fits so well with our Theme this week.
It's Week Five of "Heart Revolution" and I am delighted to share my thoughts with you this week along with our exercises...I think you will find them a lot of FUN!!
I remember this photo!!
It was taken Christmas day...
But more than the day what I remember most is the outfit.
(because I wore it so much!)
This was right during our financial stress when NOTHING extra could be spent.
If I wanted to treat myself to a new outfit it had to be from a yard sale or the thrift shop.
This skirt I am wearing cost me a whopping 25 cents!!! And that black vest and turquoise top was my go-to...I could wear with jeans or a skirt.
Oh I MISS this grey short sleeved sweater...I wore it often, too...but sadly it now has a big hole in it!
There's that black vest again...this time with a grey top and red scarf to change the look!
Why am I showing you all these pics of myself and what I wear??
Our Lesson this week is ALL ABOUT what we WEAR!!
What does THAT have to do with a Heart Revolution you ask??
PLENTY!
During difficult times in my life the ONE thing I ALWAYS try to do is dress nice and do my hair. Those two things ALWAYS make me feel better.
And DO better!!
Last year I took a class from Kelly Rae Roberts called...
"Dressing your Joy".
It was AWESOME! I encourage you to take it! If you are already signed up for Brave Girl's University you can take it there. If not here is her website...
She sends out 60 daily emails on how to DRESS YOUR JOY!
Now sometimes MY Joy is wearing a t-shirt and hat...
I went through a phase where all I wore were American Eagle t-shirts!
(what's so funny about that is now my son works there!)
A few years ago I decided my JOY was short hair!!
I LOVED it but am so happy it's grown back!!
I LOVE wearing vests. My son makes fun of me!!
Dressing our JOY does not even mean CLOTHES....not really.
It can mean our hairstyle,
our jewelry,
our make-up
or lack of make-up.
It's ANYTHING that makes us feel AMAZING!
That brings out what is TRULY in our Hearts!!
When I look at each of these photos I realize that when I DO dress my JOY I am Truly being ME!!
American Eagle baby!
This week along with working on our Quote art journal pages from last week...
I encourage you to head to your closet and drawers and start going through your things.
This shirt is from Wal-Mart!!! I love it!
During our financial struggles when clothes just couldn't be bought
I would get SO TIRED of wearing the same things over and over...
to uplift my Spirits one day I spent an afternoon creating "NEW" outfits!!
I pulled out clothes I hadn't worn in awhile (we ALL have those clothes we just don't wear!)
and paired them with my favorites. I hung them on hangers....even adding jewelry and scarves then took a photo.
Not only was this so much FUN it inspired me to wear my clothes in fresh and funky ways!!!
My Vera Wang tie dye shirt that cost a whopping a 5 bucks!!!
So head to your closets for the next few days. Pull out clothes and be INVENTIVE!!
Me this morning...I haven't worn this polka dot sweater in SO LONG!! It makes me feel so Spunky. I LOVE it!! And my necklace....25 cents at a yard sale!
The second part of our FUN this week is to WEAR what makes your Heart SING!
If you feel like a t-shirt and jeans...wear that!
If you feel like getting all spruced up...DO THAT!
Even if you are going to clean house like me today!!!
