Monday, April 6, 2015

Getting personal today (My 70 Day Commitment)

I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse. –Florence Nightingale this right here just hit me over the head...HARD!

I am FULL of excuses...I am.

And it's sad.

It's why I am not losing weight.

It's why I feel yucky and my clothes keep getting tighter.

If you have read my blog for very long then you already know that I am a HUGE admirer of Brave Girl Melody Ross. No one else like her!! I have been reading her journey to wellness and her last post REALLY got me to thinking about my own life.

It's SO MUCH MORE than the weight people! I just plain don't feel good!!!

I don't.

I have Hashimoto's Disease  and it plain sucks. Yes it does. My body is literally attacking my thyroid so it doesn't function properly. UGH!.

So instead of feeling really good like I do here....

I feel yucky and old. I have terrible hot flashes, I can't sleep, fat clings to my tummy and thighs (but mostly my mid-section) and I have zero energy.

Makes me want to SCREAM!

And honestly I do it all to myself. 

I do.

I do not take care of me.

Or my disease.

So reading Melody's post last week REALLY hit home with me and I realized we had similar issues with our bodies and she had come to the realization that it was ALL UP TO HER. And if she TRULY loved herself enough she would TAKE CARE OF HERSELF.


Do I love myself enough?

I thought so.

But then yesterday it was Easter and we had dinner.

Well, I had LOTS of dinner.

SALT and SUGAR. Oh my so much SUGAR.

When you have Hashimoto's sugar is NOT the thing to eat.

Today I woke up at 4:40 AM.  All I could do was thing about how much I HATE my body. How I am NOT comfortable in my own skin. And how this time last year I had lost 15 pounds. I was remembering how AMAZING that felt. How light-hearted I was.

This photo was taken last April/May. I was 15 pounds lighter. I remember this night. It felt SO GOOD to put that outfit on...everything FIT. In fact my pants were so loose I could barely keep them on. I wore those same pants to to my father in laws visitation last week and they were so tight I couldn't button them all the way.


My favorite thing about this photo though is the FEELING I remember having. COMPLETE peace and acceptance of myself. Oh how I miss that.

But today...

TODAY is a NEW DAY. At leas that's what my dear, sweet husband says. As I got ready for the day I was nearly in tears sharing with him how BAD I feel about myself at this time. He hugged me and reassured me that TODAY is a NEW DAY. TODAY WE will be on this path together.

So I took a deep breath and decided that maybe he was right. Maybe today is a new day. Maybe...just like that Brave Girl saying above IT REALLY IS POSSIBLE.

I weighed myself, took my thyroid medication and promised to love myself today. I also am going to learn more my disease this week (I have had it nearly 8 years and really don't know that much about it!!)

When my daughter and I step on that plane to Paris I want to LOVE myself again. I want to be AT PEACE. 

I hope I can tell you in next week's post about how AWESOME my week was. About how I ate healthy and how after just one week I feel SO GOOD!!

I would LOVE to hear YOUR thoughts on weight healthy...and if you have a thyroid disease please share what works for you!!!


  1. I feel the pain you are experiencing because I feel it as well. Every day I think - yes, this is the day I take care of myself and then the day unravels bit by bit. But we can DO THIS! We have to love ourselves. Thank you for putting into words what I feel and think. All the best!

    1. said it SO WELL...the day unravels bit by bit!!!! Let's LOVE ourselves and do it step by step!!:) Keep me updated!!

  2. I need to also educate myself more about hypothyroidism. My new doctor said it affects each of us differently. I have the midsection bulge that doesn't budge. Diet can make so much difference. I find it best to work on one change at a time. When it becomes more automatic or natural to make the healthiest choice then I can tackle a new area of change. Just baby steps sometimes. All the best to you on your journey to wellness.

  3. I don't have a thyroid issue, but I do have a serious health condition. Taking care of myself is really hard sometimes because I just don't have the energy. But when I don't look after myself I inevitably end up feeling worse, physically and emotionally. I need to remember to love myself and work on taking better care of myself.

  4. What a great post and you are so right! It is up to us and only us AND it's really all about how we isn't about the weight. I'm excited to know others are on this same journey and I am not alone. Good luck and take care of yourself in this process.

  5. Wait. Can we talk about Paris?! HOW exciting!! It's funny, I am feeling the SAME way lately - last year at this time I was working out and eating clean, and right now, as I write this, I am eating a powdered donut :/ Buttttt, sometimes we have it in us and sometimes we don't - I too am very excited to get back on the clean eating / running routine. I can't wait to feel good again - my mom always said, "nothing tastes as good as thin feels", and she's totally right. Its the CONFIDENCE rather than the size, right? Good luck on your new perspective - and I look forward to hearing how you do! I'm on your side!! xoxo

  6. I came across your blog a few weeks ago. As I want to start with art journaling I was looking for inspiration and found your beautiful blog.
    I want to thank you for sharing your personal journey with us. It gives me a feeling of connection, that we are all on the same journey.
    For me it is a challenge to love and accept myself when I am not satisfied with certain aspects of my self or my life. But I think it's only from a place of total acceptance of ourselves and our lives we create room for change and a more authentic live in which we love and take really good care of ourselves. If we reject ourselves in this moment, it only leads to more self-sabotage and self-destructive behaviour. Like you said it's a step by step journey. It also helps me to reflect on which self-limiting beliefs are holding me back.

    After a long time of procastination you inspired me to start again en take some little steps in the right direction. I am busy now with my first art journal page. My new motto is expression instead of perfection. That helps me to start. Because of all the techniques and materials it can be overwhelmed to start, but I take little steps and have patience with myself.

    I am a Dutch reader, so my english might not be perfect, but hopefully good enough to express myself clearly;-)

    With love,

    1. Alice...THANK YOU!! So well said. I love that you have found and been inspired by my words. Your words inspire me as well!! I hope you share your first art journal page:)

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