WOW...so this right here just hit me over the head...HARD!
I am FULL of excuses...I am.
And it's sad.
It's why I am not losing weight.
It's why I feel yucky and my clothes keep getting tighter.
If you have read my blog for very long then you already know that I am a HUGE admirer of Brave Girl Melody Ross. No one else like her!! I have been reading her journey to wellness and her last post REALLY got me to thinking about my own life.
It's SO MUCH MORE than the weight people! I just plain don't feel good!!!
I have Hashimoto's Disease and it plain sucks. Yes it does. My body is literally attacking my thyroid so it doesn't function properly. UGH!.
So instead of feeling really good like I do here....
I feel yucky and old. I have terrible hot flashes, I can't sleep, fat clings to my tummy and thighs (but mostly my mid-section) and I have zero energy.
Makes me want to SCREAM!
And honestly I do it all to myself.
I do not take care of me.
Or my disease.
So reading Melody's post last week REALLY hit home with me and I realized we had similar issues with our bodies and she had come to the realization that it was ALL UP TO HER. And if she TRULY loved herself enough she would TAKE CARE OF HERSELF.
Do I love myself enough?
I thought so.
But then yesterday it was Easter and we had dinner.
Well, I had LOTS of dinner.
SALT and SUGAR. Oh my so much SUGAR.
When you have Hashimoto's sugar is NOT the thing to eat.
Today I woke up at 4:40 AM. All I could do was thing about how much I HATE my body. How I am NOT comfortable in my own skin. And how this time last year I had lost 15 pounds. I was remembering how AMAZING that felt. How light-hearted I was.
This photo was taken last April/May. I was 15 pounds lighter. I remember this night. It felt SO GOOD to put that outfit on...everything FIT. In fact my pants were so loose I could barely keep them on. I wore those same pants to to my father in laws visitation last week and they were so tight I couldn't button them all the way.
My favorite thing about this photo though is the FEELING I remember having. COMPLETE peace and acceptance of myself. Oh how I miss that.
TODAY is a NEW DAY. At leas that's what my dear, sweet husband says. As I got ready for the day I was nearly in tears sharing with him how BAD I feel about myself at this time. He hugged me and reassured me that TODAY is a NEW DAY. TODAY WE will be on this path together.
So I took a deep breath and decided that maybe he was right. Maybe today is a new day. Maybe...just like that Brave Girl saying above IT REALLY IS POSSIBLE.
I weighed myself, took my thyroid medication and promised to love myself today. I also am going to learn more my disease this week (I have had it nearly 8 years and really don't know that much about it!!)
When my daughter and I step on that plane to Paris I want to LOVE myself again. I want to be AT PEACE.
I hope I can tell you in next week's post about how AWESOME my week was. About how I ate healthy and how after just one week I feel SO GOOD!!
I would LOVE to hear YOUR thoughts on weight loss...living healthy...and if you have a thyroid disease please share what works for you!!!